24 de agosto de 2012

Un día de playa.


Cuando el ante meridiem se convierte en post meridiem y el Sol de verano asoma por tu ventana, tu cuerpo empieza a detectar un calor húmedo, el sudor acaba de conquistar tu frente y una gota empieza a recorrer lentamente tu rostro, y todo ello tumbado en el sofá del salón. Es entonces cuando te planteas si tu posición se puede considerar deporte. No sudabas desde la adolescencia cuando tu profesor se obsesionaba en que saltar aquel mueble modular llamado Plinton era hacer gimnasia.
La nostalgia y el calor hacen que vayas directo a la nevera a por esa botella de agua fría que dejaste el día anterior y una vez en la cocina recuerdas que la noche anterior te la acabaste. Así que decides abrir el congelador y coger aquellos cubitos de hielo que rellenaste hace dos semanas... y utilizaste hace una.
Con el fracaso en tu haber y aquella gota que sigue en ruta por tu cuerpo. Es momento de pensar, recuerdas que la última vez que lo hiciste fue cuando pensaste en rellenar la cubitera... decides ducharte, ponerte crema e ir a la playa. El planazo del día. Así te refrescarás, te pondrás moreno y te darás un chapuzón disfrutando de un cervecita en cualquier chiringuito de la costa.
Tu plan va como la seda, te duchaste, te secaste, te pusiste crema, has llegado a la playa y buscas un lugar cerca de la orilla para que cuando te dés el chapuzón no te roben tu toalla del parchis del mercadillo y una camiseta de una marca petrolera que podría ser tu pijama.
Te sientas en la casilla catorce de tu magnifica toalla y comienzas a contemplar tu entorno. Hacer check de todo lo que sucede en un playa:
vv Las sombrillas con estampadas coloridas y que dan culto a la flor de primavera.
vv La familia picnic compuesta por una nevera azul, padre, madre, dos abuelos y cinco hijos.
vv El padre en estado hermoso de la familía picnic que reparte los bocadillos de lomo rebozado envueltos en papel de plata bajo la premisa "Nene, te acabas el lomo y te dejo ir al agua".
vv El niño protect. Reconocible por su boya en forma de tortuga rosa, un flotador de peces y unos manguitos con la dupla bob y patricio.
vv La niña fondona que sus padres la bañan vestida para que no se vean las lorzas.
vv El señor nacido en los 60'. Con bañador homenaje a su década que pasa el día destrozando retinas en la orilla.
vv La toalla marinera con el ancla bordado en un bolsillo y que nunca supiste como llegó a tus manos. 
vv El niño protect fuera del agua se convierte en niño insolado debido al calentamiento de su cabeza que sólo piensa en correr al borde de las toallas.
vv Las señoras legendarias que inspiradas en los programas de cotilleo y sus cambios de plató cambian el patio de luces por la orilla en verano para hacer la tertulia con mucho más estilo. Estas señoras se detectan por su bañador a juego con la sombrilla.
vv El niño hoyo. Él y sólo él cree que si sigue cavando llegará a Australia.
vv La mujer gamba. Cuando hace acto de presencia produce un reflejo y la playa se gira al unísono y comenta: "Sino se pone crema factor alto se quemará"
vv El guiri y su creencia en pensar que chanclas y calcetines es la tendencia neverending.
vv La geisha o mujer sobreprotegida de crema solar o versión mejorada de la mujer gamba.
Mientras analizabas el entorno una chinita te ha ofrecido dos masajes, un pakistaní te vendía un rico coco, un senegalés te ofrecía pulseras y gafas Ray Bon y cinco niños insolados te han lanzado arena el equivalente a dos campo de fútbol. 
Así que acabas de decidir que sudar es hacer deporte, vuelves a tu casa, te tumbas en tu sofá y una vez tu espalda roza con el tejido te das cuenta de que no te pusiste crema en la espalda.

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